2024: stripped-down and built up
Sometimes I find year-end essays a bit cringe and cheesy… but I write it anyway. Writing this gets me reflecting and it always ends with thanksgiving.
Stripped-down and built up. That’s how I’m summing up this 2024.
When the clients and projects I expected to bring me growth and wealth didn’t come. When I felt lonely, helpless, and desperate. When the things I depended on started to seem undependable. When expectations turned into disappointment…
It was hard. It feels like I went through multiple existential crises throughout the year.
There were so many moments I was ready to give up, thinking that that’s what He wanted.
Then a question in the form of a quiet whisper came—what do you want?
Why won’t I pray for what I wanted? Isn’t He the one who puts desires in our hearts? Why was I always ready to surrender in defeat…
This question invited me to have a little more courage to pray for what I truly wanted.
In the midst of that stripped-down wilderness, He was quietly building up my faith. The works of my hands and my business seemed stagnant at that time, but underneath what seemed like unfruitfulness…He was tilling the soil of my heart so my relationship with Him can flourish.
This year proved that all that we see is not all that there is to it.
““For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,”
declares the Lord.
“As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.”
This verse is hard to embrace if you liked being in control. But boy am I glad that His ways are higher than mine! If I always had my way, there won’t be growth. And I’d always choose what’s “safe,” never looking and going beyond the horizon.
There are things I wish I could’ve done better so I wouldn’t have to go through what I went through… Yet the peace that comes from knowing He is with me, He has gone ahead of me, and how He is my rear guard leaves no room for regrets. Yes, I still sometimes question the decisions I made but, in His presence, these questions fade. Knowing He is with me and He has gone ahead of me doesn’t just bring me peace, it leaves no room for regrets.
He also blessed me with a lot of firsts this year:
Got commissioned for a birthday event for my ultimate bias, GOT7’s Jay B!
Gave away magnetic bookmarks during SEVENTEEN’s concert in Bulacan.
Released a tote bag merch for GOT7. It sold out! Wuhoo!
Joined a photo walk in Tokyo and met amazing creatives from all over the world. I even used my film camera to shoot!
Biked around a suburban neighborhood in Tokyo, taking in the coolness of winter’s tail end.
Made hand dyed tote bags and mini notebooks inspired by SEVENTEEN.
Applied for an art residency program. (Got rejected, but the courage it took for me to try is also worthy to be celebrated!)
Shared the Word for a prayer meeting in church.
Attended a worship conference on my birthday!
Tried avocado toasts and crispy enoki mushrooms. SO GOOD!
Biked 30+ kilometers with friends.
Launched a t-shirt merch for a k-band I love (DAY6). And I also got to sell it in Singapore!
Uploaded vlogs more consistently in my Youtube channel!
Through all that I went through, He reignited a child-like faith in me. Now, I have an even greater excitement for what He has in store.
